Its human nature to want to blame somebody or something for your bad-falls. Guilt, misery, sympathy – they begin to cloud your perception, making it easier to point fingers. And when your fatal flaw is as powerful as mine, actions begin to not make sense.
Later you are left with nothing but questions – Why?How? to torment you to no end, to bring in the sleepless nights (or the metaphoric, horrific dreams)
With brilliant persuading abilities, I can charm speak myself into anything. Sometimes, it scares me. The extent to which I can reason with myself about absolutely anything and everything.
Karma, fate, destiny – all become blurry concepts. They say, every action has a reaction. So what ought to be the reaction of your misfortunes? Who should you question or rather who should you lash out at? Such unwonted feelings bring out the rebel. Doing something wrong seems right. Punishing nobody in particular. After all, it has to be tit for tat.
At that moment, the adrenaline rush is too much to overlook. And it becomes difficult to think of the consequences. A few minutes , few hours and the excitement wears down. Bit by bit realization begins to dawn. Responsibility takes over. However small a rebellious act maybe, it does satisfy you to some extent. Helps take out the anger, at the same time not victimising anyone. Life continues on a still mode for a while with its usual ups and downs, until something else ignites the light.