Moment of Silence.

That moment where feelings begin to overwhelm. Where emotions seem to ricochet. Words refuse to form sentences as they dissolve into nothingness.
There was so much I wanted to say, so much I could have said. But the fact that it wouldn’t have mattered, made me reconsider. And in that moment of indecision, all thoughts evaporate (as if trying to say “You had your chance but you were too big of a coward to speak up”)  Now I have nothing left. No ammo. No fuel.

Inability to speak takes over. Hurt, shock, anger and confusion, grab the opportunity, to play tug of war. They have been doing it ever since I learnt what a “lump in the throat” felt like!

Fighting this momentary shut-down hadn’t been an option. It was sure to pass, just like a storm – bringing back the stillness (in the air) yet leaving signs of its occurrence. I would learn to grow calm, the anger would surely subside after leaving an impression.
The words, thoughts and emotions would come tumbling out like lava from an active volcano. Carrying with it all the debris that it collects on the way down.  But, its too late.
Everything would switch back to normal until the next time, when it happens again.
Together, you and I, we have become parts of a never ending routine.
You, unable to understand me. I, unable to make you understand.